Category: Books

Posts having something to do with books

Posted on

How to Love: The Five Love Languages

In John 13:34 Jesus told us what we need to do. “I give you a new commandment: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you must also love one another.”.

That is a very tall order.  It’s especially difficult sometimes to know how best to love the people around you.  Sometimes the things you do are not interpreted by others as loving actions.

I read a book about this very topic.  Other than the Bible it has had the greatest influence on my life.  Its simple wisdom can be put into immediate action and have amazing results.  The book is “The Five Love Languages”, by the author Dr. Gary Chapman.  In this book Dr. Chapman states that people take in and express love in five ways.  They are: (in no particular order)

  • Words of affirmation
  • Physical touch
  • Gifts
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service

We all need to feel loved.  When we don’t feel loved we begin to misbehave. Dr. Chapman calls this condition “having an empty love tank”.  Regardless of the question, love is the answer.  Find out how to best love the people in your life.

Let’s talk a little bit about the love languages.  For example, let’s say that you are a teenager living at home and you realize that your mother’s love language is acts of service.  Perhaps what you can do to show your love to your Mom would be to set and clear the dinner table each night without being asked.  Do the task and think to yourself that you are doing it to express your love for your Mom.

As another illustration let’s say that your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation.  You do lots of chores in the house and give your spouse gifts frequently.  Your spouse may not feel loved as you haven’t given her/him the love in the appropriate love language. Harsh words would be especially hurtful towards your spouse so you should make every effort not to speak harshly to them.

Here is a link to the Five Love Languages on Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-5-love-languages-gary-chapman/1112878532.

The official website for the Five Love Languages is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Jesus told us to love, and this book will help you in expressing your love for the people in your life.

By the way, my primary love language is words of affirmation.  I feel extra special when people tell me positive affirming messages about me.  My secondary love language is physical touch and I really enjoy getting hugs from my loved ones.

Learn your love language.  Learn the love language for the close people in your life.  Express yourself to those people in their preferred love language.  You will be amazed at how loved you and they feel.

Posted on

Five Love Languages

5 Love Languages

I firmly believe that we are put here on this earth to love one another.  The difficult thing is that it is sometimes difficult in knowing how to love one another.  I have a suggested book for you to read on this very topic.  This books wisdom and the ease of putting this wisdom into action makes this book the most influential book I have ever read.

According to author Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages (Amazon) (Barnes & Noble), people take in, and express love in five distinct ways.  In no particular order, the 5 love languages are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Quality time
  • Gift giving/receiving
  • Physical touch

If you want others to feel loved, you need to speak their love language, not the one that comes easiest to you.  My primary love language is words of affirmation whereas my wife’s primary love language is acts of service.  When I tell my wife that “she is beautiful” and that “I love her” she most likely is not going to interpret those as loving acts on my part.  If I want her to feel loved, then I need to clean the bathroom, and do the laundry.

I need to do the full job and not a cursory “quickie” job.  So for the laundry I need to do all of the following to get full credit:

  • pick up dirty clothes
  • separate into darks, whites, and linens
  • put into washer
  • put into dryer
  • fold all the clothes, linens, and socks (my personal anathema)
  • put away

Now I may hate to do the laundry (which I do). But it is not about me.  I’m looking for ways to express my love to my wife.  So when I do the complete task of the laundry it becomes less of a burden as I am doing it to express my love.

I mentioned primary love language as we are all capable of speaking and hearing all 5 of the languages.  We have preferences for those that mean the most to us.  Speak them all if possible.  If it’s not possible to speak them all, then at the very least speak their primary love language.

Find out your own love language.  Share this information with the closest loved ones in your life.  There is no guarantee that they will speak your love language, but if you don’t share this information it is not likely they will know how to best love you.

Encourage those closest to you to take the assessment and find out their love language.  Ask them if they could share that information with you.  Now armed with that new piece of information, speak that love language to them.  Speak your spouse’s/partner’s love language.  Speak to your child(ren) in their love language.  Speak to your parents and your siblings in their love language.  Speak to your friends in their love language.

For an assessment (quick quiz) to determine your love language please go to Gary’s website (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/).  If you are looking for more complete descriptions of the 5 love languages go to his website or buy the book The 5 Love Languages (Amazon) (Barnes & Noble).  Or if you are frugal see if your local library has a copy.

Read it.  Apply the wisdom in your life.  Stand back and feel the love. (Pardon the pun)

Posted on

Why are there multiple versions of sacred wise texts?

Why is it that there are multiple editions or versions of sacred texts?  The answer is rather simple: they were written a long time ago, and/or the original language was not English.  When the language is brought up to date or translated from another language there are different ways of interpreting and expressing the concepts in today’s vernacular.

I’ve heard that the Christian Bible is comprised of a mix of Hebrew and Greek texts, and the number of distinct words in the original text is 5,000 – 7,000 words.  A single translation of the Bible will have significantly more than 7,000 words.  A smartphone app YouVersion Bible https://www.youversion.com shows that it has 46 different English translations.

What’s the benefit?  

The positive thing is that if a passage perplexes you – the wording is not natural to you – or it doesn’t make sense – you can look up the same passage in another translation.

Let’s say you want to read from Luke 6:31, which is often referred to as “The Golden Rule”.

In the KJV (King James Version) the text is as follows:

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
– Luke 6:31 KJV

I don’t  know about you but that is definitely not the way I talk.  Let’s look at another version:

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
– Luke 6:31 NIV (New International Version)

That is much closer to modern English.  I think it’s still a little clunky, but no where near as clunky as the KJV text.

Other sacred and wise texts

By sacred and wise I mean

  • There are Truths contained within the text that are eternal and true
  • That many people have read and Applied its wisdom into their lives
  • That it has withstood the test of time and has Longevity on its side

Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu on Amazon shows more than 10 translations.  The Tao Te Ching is a great short text of 81 separate verses.  Each verse is 2 – 20 paragraphs long.  From the first verse:

The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao.

The Art of War, by Sun Tzu on Amazon shows more than 10 translations.  The best fight is to not fight at all.  My metaphor for life is not that life is warfare.  This book takes a complex topic like warfare and breaks it down into smaller understandable concepts.

Call to action

What are the sacred and wise texts in your life?  If it was written a long time ago and in another language I challenge you to read a different translation (not the one you are familiar with) and see what new thoughts it will create.  Go out and read those sacred texts.

Posted on

7 Types of Good Failure – Lessons from Yes, And

I’m in the midst of reading a great book titled

Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses No, But Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration–Lessons from The Second City by Kelly Leonard

Everyone makes mistakes.  Accept the reality of that statement.  Have compassion with yourself and others regarding their faults.

To err is human; to forgive, divine – Alexander Pope

Are you embracing your failures?  Or do you instead deny, rationalize, or otherwise cover up your faults?  Are you sure that you are right even when you are wrong?

Often in error; never in doubt.- my friend Jack

The goal is not to fail, but rather to fail with purpose.  Don’t keep making the same mistakes again and again.  Make new mistakes, fail in a better way.

Here are 7 types of failure that you want to embrace.

  • Fail in order to cultivate creativity – In order to create small or great things you must be willing to try and to fail.
  • Fail in public – Acknowledge the failure to yourself and to others.  It’s often the cover up that gets us in more trouble than the original offense.
  • Fail together – Have the team take on the failure or success of a particular course of action.
  • Fail fast – If you or your team has made an error then just fess up, and move on.  Don’t keep a failing project alive if there is no way to correct the failure.
  • Fail free of judgement – Have compassion for yourself and others as we all make mistakes.
  • Fail with confidence – Failure is part of the human experience.  When trapeze artists miss their partner and fall into the net, they come out of the net and bow.  Embrace their failures they indicate that you tried.
  • Fail incrementally – Continuously try to improve yourself.  Make new and different mistakes, but keep trying to improve.

For more information on failure and how you can use it for positive change I encourage you to read Yes, And.
Yes, And

Yes, And on Barnes & Noble

Yes, And on Amazon

Posted on

The Secret – a guide to the Law of Attraction

The Secret - by Rhonda Byrne
The Secret – using the law of attraction in your life.

Law of attraction

The law of attraction is that like attracts like.  The energy that you are putting out into the universe will be what the universe sends back to you.  Put out positive affirming energy.  The secret boils down to these 3 steps:

  1. Ask for what you want.  State what you want in the positive present tense.
  2. Believe.  Believe that the universe (or God, or love, whatever you choose) will provide for you exactly what you asked.
  3. Receive.  What you send out you receive.  You may want to think about how any bad you may be receiving now could be negative messages that you sent out in the past.

Be aware of the messages you are sending out.  What things are you saying to others?  What are you saying to yourself?

 The Secret

On IMDB.com – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0846789/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

On Netflix – http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/The_Secret/70063484?trkid=2361637

On YouTube – http://tinyurl.com/chlvfmp

On Amazon – http://tinyurl.com/cwyb878

Definition of the law of attraction on Wikipedia

Posted on

Our Deepest Fear…

I occasionally post inspirational words that I have read. Here is another one for you.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

A Return To Love
Marianne Williamson
Page 165 hardcover edition
published 1992