In John 13:34 Jesus told us what we need to do. “I give you a new commandment: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you must also love one another.”.
That is a very tall order. It’s especially difficult sometimes to know how best to love the people around you. Sometimes the things you do are not interpreted by others as loving actions.
I read a book about this very topic. Other than the Bible it has had the greatest influence on my life. Its simple wisdom can be put into immediate action and have amazing results. The book is “The Five Love Languages”, by the author Dr. Gary Chapman. In this book Dr. Chapman states that people take in and express love in five ways. They are: (in no particular order)
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Gifts
- Quality time
- Acts of service
We all need to feel loved. When we don’t feel loved we begin to misbehave. Dr. Chapman calls this condition “having an empty love tank”. Regardless of the question, love is the answer. Find out how to best love the people in your life.
Let’s talk a little bit about the love languages. For example, let’s say that you are a teenager living at home and you realize that your mother’s love language is acts of service. Perhaps what you can do to show your love to your Mom would be to set and clear the dinner table each night without being asked. Do the task and think to yourself that you are doing it to express your love for your Mom.
As another illustration let’s say that your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation. You do lots of chores in the house and give your spouse gifts frequently. Your spouse may not feel loved as you haven’t given her/him the love in the appropriate love language. Harsh words would be especially hurtful towards your spouse so you should make every effort not to speak harshly to them.
Here is a link to the Five Love Languages on Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-5-love-languages-gary-chapman/1112878532.
The official website for the Five Love Languages is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Jesus told us to love, and this book will help you in expressing your love for the people in your life.
By the way, my primary love language is words of affirmation. I feel extra special when people tell me positive affirming messages about me. My secondary love language is physical touch and I really enjoy getting hugs from my loved ones.
Learn your love language. Learn the love language for the close people in your life. Express yourself to those people in their preferred love language. You will be amazed at how loved you and they feel.
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