Category: Practice

Spiritual practice

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Everything Looks Like Shit

Crap

If you look around and everything looks like shit, chances are good that your head is up your ass.

– Anonymous

It is very easy to be negative and complain. We all have annoyances and things that get under our skin. When we are focused on ourselves and our problems life becomes difficult.  Enlightenment is an inside job, but there must be focus on being service to others, and to be in an active relationship with your Higher Power.  Change your focus and you’ll be amazed at the results that will come your way.

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Surrender To Win

SurrenderToWin

Surrender is not the same as giving in. Surrender is about accepting your current reality and responding to it in a mature serene way.

God made us to surrender. Our choice is what we surrender to. We can surrender to Him, or we can surrender to our character defects.  It’s your choice. – Bill Riedy

If a fire alarm goes off at your place of work, what do you do?  Do you bitch and moan, complaining about how often the alarm goes off?  Or do you sit petrified with terror that you are just going to die, so why bother?  These are two forms of non-acceptance, and there are many more to choose from.

Acceptance is recognizing the fire alarm for what it is. It is there to get your attention. You should respond in a calm mature fashion. Look for the nearest exit and proceed calmly and safely towards the exit. On your way out if you see others tell them of the alarm and the need to proceed to the exit.

Surrender and acceptance are two sides of the same coin. We are all called to live in this moment, whatever the moment brings. We can take action to create a different future, but it is futile to fight the reality of the right now.

I believe that there is a Higher Power that wants the best for me. He wants me to feel love, and to give love freely to others.  Why wouldn’t I want to surrender to this?

Choose. Live life on purpose. You are worth it.

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Five Love Languages

5 Love Languages

I firmly believe that we are put here on this earth to love one another.  The difficult thing is that it is sometimes difficult in knowing how to love one another.  I have a suggested book for you to read on this very topic.  This books wisdom and the ease of putting this wisdom into action makes this book the most influential book I have ever read.

According to author Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages (Amazon) (Barnes & Noble), people take in, and express love in five distinct ways.  In no particular order, the 5 love languages are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Quality time
  • Gift giving/receiving
  • Physical touch

If you want others to feel loved, you need to speak their love language, not the one that comes easiest to you.  My primary love language is words of affirmation whereas my wife’s primary love language is acts of service.  When I tell my wife that “she is beautiful” and that “I love her” she most likely is not going to interpret those as loving acts on my part.  If I want her to feel loved, then I need to clean the bathroom, and do the laundry.

I need to do the full job and not a cursory “quickie” job.  So for the laundry I need to do all of the following to get full credit:

  • pick up dirty clothes
  • separate into darks, whites, and linens
  • put into washer
  • put into dryer
  • fold all the clothes, linens, and socks (my personal anathema)
  • put away

Now I may hate to do the laundry (which I do). But it is not about me.  I’m looking for ways to express my love to my wife.  So when I do the complete task of the laundry it becomes less of a burden as I am doing it to express my love.

I mentioned primary love language as we are all capable of speaking and hearing all 5 of the languages.  We have preferences for those that mean the most to us.  Speak them all if possible.  If it’s not possible to speak them all, then at the very least speak their primary love language.

Find out your own love language.  Share this information with the closest loved ones in your life.  There is no guarantee that they will speak your love language, but if you don’t share this information it is not likely they will know how to best love you.

Encourage those closest to you to take the assessment and find out their love language.  Ask them if they could share that information with you.  Now armed with that new piece of information, speak that love language to them.  Speak your spouse’s/partner’s love language.  Speak to your child(ren) in their love language.  Speak to your parents and your siblings in their love language.  Speak to your friends in their love language.

For an assessment (quick quiz) to determine your love language please go to Gary’s website (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/).  If you are looking for more complete descriptions of the 5 love languages go to his website or buy the book The 5 Love Languages (Amazon) (Barnes & Noble).  Or if you are frugal see if your local library has a copy.

Read it.  Apply the wisdom in your life.  Stand back and feel the love. (Pardon the pun)

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Religion vs. Spirituality

ReligionVsSpirituality

Religion and spirituality are different concepts.  Religion is about: theology; and doctrine.  Spirituality, in all its forms, comes down to two beliefs: there is a power greater than self; everyone and everything is connected to that power.

Can spirituality be found in religion? Yes, it can be found in religion.  Sadly there are too many examples where spirituality is missing from many religious environments.

Spirituality can be found in many different forms.  Some of us commune with nature.  Some believe in Universal Love, others Universal Truth.  The Star Wars movies have the Force.  Eastern traditions have chakras.  Buddhism has the Four Noble Truths.  Recovery has the Twelve Steps.

If you are from a religious background, then explore spirituality within your own faith.  Islam has the Sufis, an ascetic and mystical sect.  First century Christians had Gnosticism.  A new age spiritual form of Christianity is A Course In Miracles.

It doesn’t matter which spiritual path you take.  I can say that being on a spiritual path is rewarding and fulfilling.  Embark on your own spiritual journey.  I promise that it will take you to places that you never even dreamed of.

 

theology: there is a proper and correct knowledge of God and God’s attributes

doctrine: there is a proper and correct set of teachings, rules, and laws governing our thoughts and behaviors

spirituality: the belief that there is a power greater than self, and that everyone and everything is connected to that power

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Be still…

BeStill-384

Be still, and know that I am God
– Psalm 46:10

How does God* speak to you?  I don’t know about you, but for me God speaks to me in a small still voice.  If my life is loud and dramatic (mentally, emotionally, physically) I can’t hear Him*.  I need to still my mind and its very loud inner critic.  I need to still my emotions – what can I do to soften my heart and be more loving.  I need to still my body – I need to be comfortable in my body and to just be.

Being is a state that is not familiar with many of us.  Be gentle with yourself.  Have the courage to be.  To be in this moment.  Accept reality for what it is, because when I try to refute reality I will always lose.  Accept the moment for what it is.  Invite the God of your understanding into the present moment with you.  The more you invite Him in, the closer and more loving your relationship with Him will be.

God – God as you understand Him.  God comes in many forms: Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Universal Love, Universal Truth, Nature in all its Glory.  Don’t get hung up on the word or the concept.  Just admit and accept that there is a power greater than you.

Him – I refer to my higher power as He because that is the language of the faith tradition I was raised in.  I’m not trying to impose that language onto you.  The words that I choose are mine, if you don’t like them, change them into words that are acceptable to you.

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Letting go of toxic words

ToxicWords

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. – Nursery rhyme

I’ll have to disagree with this.  Words may not hurt us in the same way as sticks and stones, but they can hurt you.  Words have amazing power.  They have the power to create, or to destroy.  What words or phrases bring you down? Or cause you to doubt yourself? Or put your brain onto the mental gerbil wheel?

Become aware of your reaction and relationship to words.  Sense on a deeper level which words or phrases are toxic to you.  Choose to let go of those words whatever they are.  I’ve had to let go of the words good and bad as they brought up in me a fear of judgment and condemnation.  I take the Buddhist suggestions of skillful or unskillful as they are far more neutral to me.  They leave a space so I can be more accepting of the moment.

skillful – Those thoughts, intentions, and actions that work toward reducing suffering in self and others.

unskillful – Those thought, intentions, and actions that work toward increasing suffering in self and others.

suffering – Different from pain as pain is part of the human experience.  Suffering is the emotional and mental anguish that we put ourselves through because we are not accepting things as they are.

Change your vocabulary.  Drop the toxic words and phrases.  Use words that are inspirational and skillful.

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Don’t know how to pray? Here are 3 simple types of prayer

3FormsOfPrayerYou’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. – Words of comfort spoken to a loved one

OK, thanks.  But what does that mean exactly?  What form do prayers take?  Do I need to memorize long prayers that adhere to a particular faith tradition?  Where do I pray?  When do I pray?

Be gentle with yourself.  Take a deep breath and just be.  Prayer is merely having a conversation with the God of your understanding.  Prayer is communication, and communication is key to maintaining a relationship.  If you want a deeper relationship, and one that is more loving, then communicate frequently.

What forms then do prayers take?  There are 3 simple forms of prayer.

  • Help – Asking for assistance is a humbling experience and as I know myself I need to be more humble.
  • Thanks – Expressing gratitude for what is in your life taps into feeling blessed and changes you into a mentality of abundance vs. a lack mentality.
  • Wow – Expressing wonder and awe about what is in your life and your universe.  This also sometimes called praise.

Oh, one more thing.  Something that you may want to add to the end of your prayer is the phrase “Thy will, not mine, be done”.  We all have wants and desires, but we must practice acceptance for what comes.

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Let go of expectations

Expectations are premeditated resentments. – Anonymous

Expectations in and of themselves are not bad, it is our attachment to them that causes suffering. The human experience includes expectations. Accept and embrace this fact of life. The divine mission in front of us is to let go.  Accept the reality of the outcome regardless of what it is. It is futile to argue with reality. You will lose every time. 

If you have expectations of others in your life speak them so that they are known and in the open. Don’t be upset when people fall short of your expectations. They are human and that is what humans do. 

Step up to this divine challenge. It is worth the effort. Regardless of the outcome. 

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Ten Commandments of Logic

We all need some credos to live by.  You have probably heard of the Ten Commandments from the Bible but are there a set of ideals that anyone, regardless of religious affiliation or non-affiliation, can live by?

Here is a list that may help you live by your “Higher Self”.  Follow these commandments and see how your interactions with others are changed.

The Ten Commandments of Logic

Ten Commandments of Logic

  1. Thou shall not attack the person’s character, but the argument itself (Ad hominem)
  2. Thou shall not misrepresent or exaggerate a person’s argument in order to make them easier to attack. (Straw man fallacy)
  3. Thou shall not use small numbers to represent the whole. (Hasty generalization)
  4. Thou shall not argue thy position by assuming one of its premises is true. (Begging the question)
  5. Thou shall not claim that because something occurred before, it must be the cause. (Post Hoc/False cause)
  6. Thou shall not reduce the argument down to two possibilities. (False dichotomy)
  7. Thou shall not argue that because of our ignorance, claim must be true or false. (Ad ignorantum)
  8. Thou shall not lay the burden of proof onto him that is questioning the claim. (Burden of proof reversal)
  9. Thou shall not assume “this” follows “that” when it has no logical connection. (Non sequitur)
  10. Thou shall not claim that because a premise is popular, therefore it must be true. (Bandwagon fallacy)
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Real life is not scripted…

Keep calm

Life is all about being in the NOW and participating fully. If you want to hone these skills I would highly recommend that you attend an Improv Comedy class.
I attended some classes at my local improv group MopCo http://www.mopco.org/ and it has really effected how I interact with people. Take a class so that you participate in that improv called life!

Life is not scripted. We have to live in the moment and respond to life as it is and not as we would have it.