Boundaries are things that put a limit on something else. They clearly define the minimum or maximum. Boundaries define what is inside and what is outside. They delineate what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Boundaries can be many things to many different people. In the context of life coaching boundaries are put into place to control the poor behavior of people and to protect one from the other.
Boundaries can be healthy or unhealthy. They can be lovingly firm or manipulative and controlling. Healthy boundaries are lovingly firm and should protect you from the poor behavior of others. Boundaries are not perfect, you may still get hurt, but hopefully the boundary has protected you from the gravest harm.
Boundaries should be firm yet flexible. You may have a firm boundary where people should not yell and curse in your presence, but it should be flexible enough to allow for a loud and profane interjection after your spouse hits their thumb with a hammer. It wouldn’t permit a non-stop cursing tirade after hammering the thumb, but an involuntary F* or S* after the hit would be understandable.
Creating and maintaining flexible and healthy boundaries can be very difficult but it is well worth the effort.
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